top of page

THE PANDEMIC OF PERFECTION

By: Aleyssa Gavin

After my first article was published for Revision Publishing, I had to go back in and make corrections. Usually, I would have panicked knowing 46 people had already seen the mistake I had made in my writing; but this time was different. Understanding that I am imperfect like the rest of the world has stopped me from unnecessarily suffering from caring about what others think. When I say "caring about what others think," I want to make it clear that this does not mean we do not consider the feelings of others or become okay with harming one another. But for example, we can be so judgemental of others that we forget we are all made up of the same flawed energy but battling different types of imperfections. When you experience someone acting belligerent in the local 7/11 market, before judging them, try to remember the time you've done something emotionally driven and weren't proud of once you looked back at it. Looking at others through a lens of compassion can quickly change that judgemental thought into an empathetic one. We're all battling something. Think someone's unattractive? Comprehend that you're also not everyone's type, and that's okay. Does someone fall? Help them up, don't laugh. Someone gives you the finger while driving?

Remember that you, too, are good at being imperfect and give that person the same grace you would like in return. If we all remembered that we're all flawed, it would bring out more compassion toward one another, inspiring more peace among us. Transparent imperfection invites others to become comfortable with their flaws; we want that. Being imperfect should not be used by others to point fingers at one another and make each other feel bad; instead, acknowledging our flaws should give us the insight we need to learn and make changes. Easier said than done, I know. It's a journey.


WE ARE ALL IMPERFECT. EMBRACE IT.


We're all learning every day, in every way, when we allow our imperfections to become our teacher and not bullies of life.


I felt accomplished after first feeling the pressure just by being allowed to write my first article/blog on the site of a self-publishing-driven author whom I admire,


I took an eight-month sabbatical from Instagram, and like many aspects of my life, I wasn't sure of "my why," and finally, I "just did." I've noticed I have a habit of doing cold turkey unconsciously, only sometimes understanding why; I take it as my soul acting on behalf of my mind, which doesn't always make the right choices. I trust my soul enough to guide me to beauty when my mind is not cooperating, convincing me that I can't do it, I'm not smart enough, I'm depressed, or our mind sometimes tells us other false narratives.


Five years ago, when I started my organization, "Bounce Back Kid," I got the name and logo trademark but with nothing to show. I was forced to learn patience because, as hard as I tried, I couldn't push a mission statement or website, no matter how hard I tried. I wasn't ready, and the desire to create needed to be more; it had to become a passion.

While taking my break from social media, it became easier to disconnect myself from the unconscious ways I was concerned with the lives of others, comparing myself even though I said I wasn't. After years of coming up with just the name and logo for bounce back kid, I received a message that I didn't know my heart was ready to receive: "Be still and don't think." Of course, I questioned my need to be still, with questions such as, "WHY"? What if I wait and someone takes my idea? What if they think I got off of Instagram because I'm scared? Or thoughts like, "Bounce Back Kid" should already be a developed organization by now" In reality, all of these questions and ideas were only rooted in fear and caring about the opinions of others.


BE STILL (Yes, it's hard, that's where the growth comes in)


When we talk about "Sitting still," that term doesn't always equate to being unproductive. Sometimes sitting in stillness is required to grow mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and in many more ways. Slowing down was and sometimes still is necessary to acquaint me with my "new season" self. As people, we will always enter into new seasons of our lives until the day our physical bodies cease to exist.


In the season of my life that I am in now, I didn't know whom I was meeting and was trying to figure out who this "new me" was; I still am. I didn't want to change or enter a "new season" because I was not too fond of the discomfort I knew comes with change,

How can I profess to bounce back, kid, if I don't believe I'm one myself? How could I embrace a new season of life when I didn't have an umbrella or sun hat to prepare me for this new season?


SLOWING DOWN

At this point, The idea of entrepreneurship and the "hustle culture: is killing us as a people faster than heart disease. (By the way, I don't even know how to spell entrepreneurship by heart. I allow spellcheck to fix it for me. ;) see? Embracing imperfections won't kill you; lol)


My mentality around entrepreneurship has changed in the past year or so. Because of reframing my thoughts, I've accepted that it's okay to be imperfect and not know the next step. My generation has been tainted with the curse of instant gratification, quickly becoming victims of things like the infamous forex scheme. We no longer know true patience or humility. We've become entitled to likes on Instagram, and we get mad at people on social media who fail to tell us a happy birthday, and our attention spans are HORRIBLE. So I'm here to spread the normalcy and beauty of being imperfect. I invite you to join me.

The organization "Bounce back Kid" I created as a blogger/writer is about being imperfect, seeing things from a different perspective, and resilience. On June 29th, 2022, I floured it as if I was cast in Fast & Furious 97 (because we know there will be the 97th one eventually) and started this new Journey; I had nothing to lose. I finally published my website, all while thinking about the worse things that could happen:


.Not being inspiring

.Not receiving support?

.Losing friends

.People would disagree with my opinions or blogs

.Being judged or laughed at

.My goal will develop spider webs because I've waited so late.

.(your ideas of an insult goes here)

But the difference was none of those "worse things possible" possessed the power to break or discourage me from pursuing my passion for creation.

STARING DISCOMFORT IN THE FACE

The courage to go for it, one step at a time, derived from the mindset I developed over the years. My confidence increased even more after attending a yoga retreat and learning about the beauty that comes out of discomfort.

I have been intentional about not placing myself under unnecessary stress, including the stress that comes from the pressure of building a brand. We often put unfair expectations on ourselves based on others and ourselves. Who cares what others think or don't like? Keep working and posting as if you have an entire world supporting me. Discomfort has been my mantra for the year. A quitting mindset has followed me into adulthood resulting in many unfinished projects or endeavors, AND that could no longer be a factor in my life, or I would not grow.


Undoing a quitting mindset takes time and won't happen overnight. I'm just now learning what it means to survive vs. thrive, so let's be patient with ourselves. When things get tough, or I don't accomplish it on the first try, I usually would save myself from the feeling of discomfort and retreat into survival mode. I've been used to doing the bare minimum while going over and beyond for others. I've recently become tired of surviving and trying to lean into thriving. Climbing that mountain and getting over that peak, you know?


What changed?


.My soul is the peace I need that reminds me to relax when I become weary about my future.

.My desire for growth gives me the momentum to keep learning and listening

.My heart is what fuels my passion

.My faith keeps me steady, and the knowledge of knowing I've survived all of my hard days up until now


Deep breaths. We have no one to impress. One day at a time, and like the concept of time, pressure is just another name for "bondage" because you're not free when stressed. Don't let pressure cause you to lose your passion for your passion.

Be bold and courageous not to have it ALL figured out in the beginning. You are not stuck or procrastinating, but you're developing, and sometimes that looks like days in bed or not posting content, working hard, or simply NOT KNOWING. It takes strength, wisdom, and insight to acknowledge that you are imperfect and not let that hold you back from pursuing your dreams or force you to rush them.

If it's your soul's purpose, it will come to pass, but learn how to be okay with rejection, lack of support, or feeling alone on this journey; it will be required to learn to grow no matter how much you fight the discomfort you need it.


Embrace the fear, it's going to be uncomfortable, but there will be a beauty that comes from that courage.


53 views1 comment
bottom of page